Sleepless Nights

I'm finished with chemotherapy, and that scares the hell out of me.  How am I supposed to fight off all of the other cancers that I seem to accumulate on a nightly basis?  The fear is all consuming and sleep has become secondary to worry.  People have fears of death and dying, but I've been forced to face that fear every day since December 9, 2010.  Every twitch, everything that does not seem quite right is a new sign that I have some new form of cancer.  Last night I was convinced that I had melanoma, colon cancer, liver cancer, lung cancer, and some form of bone cancer.  As I get closer to my "final" testing day, May 21st, my anxiety grows and I am convinced that the only reason they are doing another CT Scan is that I have liver cancer.  They just are not sure how bad it is, so they are not going to tell me until they know the extent.  My normal, sane mind knows that this is ridiculous, all the tests are routine and perfectly normal tests to have after chemotherapy; but there is a very vocal part of my brain that thinks differently.  There is always the recurrence of breast cancer and what would I do if that happened?  All of these fears rattle about in my brain and make for sleepless nights.  Hopefully once I have the results of all my tests I can put these crazy fears to rest.  Until then I see a lot of sleepless nights in my future.